An offence against nature

Christianity, that is. Gay marriage has been around for far longer.

The story of Gilgamesh and Enkidu is an excellent piece of literature. It also features beer as an essential part of civilised life (alongside only bread), further confirming the importance of libertinism as a founding philosophy of humankind.

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Begone, purveyors of speed

I’ve finally put in some antispam measures in comments and in the referrer logs, thanks to the efforts of phentermine vendors.

I’m surprised phentermine is the biggest spam item at the moment – apparently being fat is worse than being unable to get it on. Although if you’re sufficiently fat, I guess you’re going to have problems getting it on anyway.

So if you happen to be accessing the site via a link from a phentermine addicts support group, or want to leave a comment on your own experiences with phentermine, then you might have problems.

Similar things might apply if you want to discuss your online gambling addiction, although hopefully the scoring system I’ve put in place will make things a little easier. If you want to talk about the way that being a victim of incest as a teen made you turn to online casinos, duty-free booze, chatrooms and playing Taboo for solace, then you’re almost certainly out of luck.

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Crooked incumbent steals election

I havne’t covered the events in Ukraine, because I know sod all about them. Nor does Max Sawicki, but that hasn’t stopped him from writing about it with great comedy.

"These people should just get over it. Don’t get mired in conspiracy theories on the Internets. Exit polls are unreliable. The opposition candidate Viktor Yushchenko was not a likable guy. After all, he looked French and was mixed up with George Soros, a Jew who managed to escape the Holocaust… The elitist protesters just don’t get it."

For more sensible coverage, Nick Barlow’s articles AFOE are well worth reading.

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How to get away with murder

Blogging comedian Richard Herring has an excellent post on how to commit the perfect crime. Well, ‘the perfect crime’ for those who like the idea of killing female strangers who live near weird pervy men, which might narrow the target audience a little.

I’m rather impressed by Mr Herring at the moment. Last week I heckled him by email, and he sent back a witty riposte within 45 minutes. I’d like to believe this is because he sits at his computer every day waiting for email heckles, and then spent 45 minutes crafting his witty reposte.

The main reason I’d like to believe this, of course, is because it would make him very nearly as tragic as the kind of person who heckles a comedian by email.

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The War on Satire continues

One silly argument used by people who don’t think gays should be allowed to get married is the ‘unnatural’ one: if marriage is what a man and a woman need to do in order to have children and ensure human survival, then gays definitionally shouldn’t and can’t get married.

The obvious rejoinder is ‘what if they’re infertile?’, or ‘what if they don’t want children?’. These generally shut such people up (or more accurately, make them fish for another fatuous talking point). So naturally, when I saw this article linked out of context, I assumed it was making that rejoinder in a satirical way.

But no, it’s a real fundamentalist Christian institute genuinely claiming that childless couples will end up in the fires of hell. Mad skills, in every possible sense of the word ‘mad’.

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An apology

I’d like to apologise for coming from a country full of fatuous, paranoid idiots.

Garr. People believe there’s more danger of WWIII than there was in the darkest days of Cold War mania, despite there not being any credible military threat whatsoever to the west [*], 40% of people believe in ghosts (war-provoking ghosts, perhaps?), 25% of people believe MI6 killed Princess Di, and 90% believe they’ll be with their current partner for the rest of their life.

And these people vote. *And* they vote for someone mildly less reprehensible than most of the people running places in the world.


On that basis, maybe they’re right about WWIII after all.

(via Matt Turner)

[*] "The west", not "a few thousand westerners"; the latter will certainly be exploded by assorted terrorists, not that the risk’s worth worrying about if you smoke, drink or eat pies.

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And in other news, simian rectofugation

It’s extremely lucky that the security services manage to foil an Al Qaeda attack every time the government wants to impose more insanely restrictive measures on law-abiding citizens.

I’m sure that it’s some combination of coincidence and brave investigative journalism by the Daily Mail, and not some combination of behind-the-scenes government wolf-crying and lazy hackery by the Daily Mail.

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He preferred it that way

"In Kaliyuga 597, Gauthama Siddhartha, a prince of India, sat beneath a tree and meditated. The riches of his people were before him, privilege and honor enough for 10 nobles. But he knew nothing of poverty. After much meditation, he decided he preferred it that way. He became a hideous tyrant, conquering the lands to the north as well as other Hindi."

Excellent work, from the excellent Today in Alternate History site. Well recommended, although it will steal all of your time, and your colleagues will wonder why you’re giggling like a loon.

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Good epitaph

I suspect that René Lauener was a thoroughly sound person when he was alive.

Taken from a Danish architect’s paper on how to make London better. Well worth a read (it’s been commissioned by TfL, so hopefully its conclusions will also be put into practice).

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