Found via the ever-entertaining Biased BBC, a set of demented ravings from the paranoid brigade.

Jesus… I lived without a TV license for six years; this was easy, as I simply threw away all letters from the TVLA unread. No stress. How do these people cope with bills? "British Gas has sent me a threatening letter telling them I owe them £50 and that they’ll cut off my gas if I don’t pay. Their letters are actively rude, offensive and frightening."

Biased BBC’s current obsession, meanwhile, is that the BBC is creating future Islamic terrorists by daring to report that there are rumours in circulation about why the Diego Garcia US base escaped tsunami devastation.

The point that such (rather silly) rumours would not be circulating were the current US administration not a bunch of cynical liars who have been proven willing to cause the deaths of thousands for political means is, it appears, lost on the BBC’s critics.

If you, like me, are a fan of Tesco and food retailing in general, then you’ll find this article interesting.

Favourite fact: Tesco Expresses are made in a factory in Scotland that turns out one local shop a week (I guessed this when they installed a Tesco Express near where I used to live over the course of approximately a fortnight…)

I wonder if the Manic Street Preachers will play at the Cardiff Live Aid-style Asian disaster gig? If so, hopefully they’ll play this one.

What does "disco dancing with the rapists" mean, anyway? Actually, I’ve been to bad provincial clubs where the appearance and behaviour of the locals could provide at least one possible explanation.

Update: The Manics have confirmed they’ll play…

Stewart Lee’s excellent Jerry Springer The Opera is going out on British TV tonight (BBC2 10PM). A bunch of ridiculous religious nutters are complaining that it’s rude and offensive and shouldn’t be shown. They should be ignored: most of them look like they’ll die soon anyway, and hopefully their attitudes will die with them.

The protests have made an impact among PR-hungry politicians (apparently, there’s an election due soon. Who knew?): Conservative deputy head Michael Ancram has told the press that he agrees with the protestors, and that the play should not be shown on TV.

This is not a surprise, but should be kept in mind by any classical liberals who were planning on voting Tory this time round. They are not a liberal party. They are not a libertarian party. They want to exercise more control over the important bits of your life (and whether you pay 35% tax or 40% tax is certainly not one of these) than do the Lib Dems – or even Labour.

Apparently the US Army compels its recruits to have socialist haircuts. I’m sure if they were aware of this fact, they’d mutiny.

And yet, people are good. And yet, people are unimaginably evil.

Ah, it’s all far too confusing. Should you have any dodgy Xmas/New Year’s fizz left over, I’d recommend making champagne sorbet too. It has a surprisingly potent effect…

I have no idea what the original drunken sort-of-French sort-of-lyrics nonsense I posted here was.

Then again, it was posted at 4AM on New Year’s Eve/Day, so I’m not too embarrassed about its pisshead qualities. I’m far more embarrased at the fact that on waking hungoverly at 9AM I’m checking the web and email for traces of embarrassing last-night activities…

Happy New Year, anyway.

From The Friday Thing‘s Review of the Year:

Post office clerks put up signs saying position closed

And journalists turn on typewriters and sex up their quotes

And ministers padlock the gates

On national security grounds

And protestors powder our parliament floors

While some other ones dress up as Batman

And it’ll still be Tony tonight or Gordon tomorrow

Gentlemen time please, you know we can’t serve anymore

But your binge drinking needs will be well catered for by casinos that open ’til four

While in Fallujah everyone’s dead

And every third car is a bomb

But ignorant people still sleep in their beds

Until I’m a Celebrity’s back on

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all

Blunkett will bounce back sometime in the spring

And we’ll all sing along like before

And there’ll still be Tony tonight or Gordon tomorrow.

Excellent.

Don’t take an MBA course in Germany.

Pompous arse.

You must read this rant from Damian Counsell. It is a good rant.