I need to set up a side-links-bar, so this kind of moderately amusing linkage with no actual content doesn’t get in the way of the, err, unamusing but actual content.

According to the Register [*], a German inventor has come up with a mobile phone for dead people.

How very tedious of him. Raving loony Aimee Semple McPherson came up with this plan 60 years ago…

[*] On non-IT stories, this is admittedly a similar guarantee of truth to "according to the National Enquirer".

I don’t understand the motivations driving criminal prosecutors, just as I don’t particularly understand the motivations driving axe-murderers. "Woo hoo, let’s devote my life to fucking up other people’s lives; it’ll be a laugh."

At least as a judge or magistrate, although you’ll have to horribly punish people, there’s generally scope to take their guilt or innocence into account. Prosecutors, as demonstrated admirably by the Kenny Richey case among thousands of others, really couldn’t care less; it’s all about getting a conviction.

Yes, I know that assorted right-wing persons will cite revenge as an important driver. This is because assorted right-wing persons are barbarous fucks. And yes, I also know prosecutors are necessary for the fucntioning of society. So are sewage workers and ratcatchers, and I’d question the motivations of anyone who did those jobs other than for the money (prosecution barristers, who do it for a great deal of money, are exempted from this rant…)

So only 15 of you voted for me in the AFOE awards? Wankers.

Just to punish you for that appalling lapse of taste, I’m going to continue posting fatuous nonsense and wrong-headed expletive-laden opinions on this site indefinitely.

Meanwhile, congratulations to the rather excellent Perfect.co.uk, Sadly, No! and Slugger O’Toole, and also to the bunch of hopeless pisspoor nobodies who won the other categories, presumably through cheating (I mean, 200 votes for this tedious cack, coming ahead of the Head Heeb? Is it just cos she’s a girl who occasionally mentions shagging? If that’s what sways your blog-reading habits, either find a real partner or just look at porn, forchrissake…)

I’m not sure whether this is the disabled community’s equivalent of rappers reclaiming the word ‘nigga’, or just the most offensively named product ever.

"At best, the ECB has sent out mixed messages about Zimbabwe. I am not arguing that Robert Mugabe is a good guy, but the global cricketing view is that Zimbabwe should continue to feature on the international fixture lists. Only England has failed to fulfil fixtures in Zimbabwe (during the 2003 World Cup). The most recent tour went ahead only after much indecision." – Steve Busfield in today’s Guardian.

Yes, the fact that England is the only cricket team to make even token efforts at boycotting the genocidal craziness that is Zimbabwe means that they’re racially dubious. Good effort…

When I first saw this New York Times article on South Vietnam’s 1967 elections, I thought it was a cruel parody by some evil heartless liberal.

But no – it’s entirely real. Comment appears superfluous.

Public information moment: "Melanie Phillips spank" is not a term for which anyone should be searching. Go view some bestiality like a normal person…

Roger Scruton, who claims to be a philosopher, has signed up to write for a new blog made up of conservatives who claim to be philosophers. Rather imaginatively, it’s called "The Conservative Philosopher".

I look forward to reading Mr Scruton’s insightful and well-researched contributions.

I’ve long been a big fan of bad song parodies and bleak Victorian novels. So imagine my delight on discovering this combination:

Hey Jude

Don’t make it bad.

It already is,

It won’t get better.

Remember, you’re just a pawn of fate.

And it’s too late

To make it better.

Hey Jude, you’re gonna die.

And so are lotsa folks who’ve metcha.

Remember the shit that happened to Tess?

That kinda stress

Is going to getcha.

Additional verses welcome, albeit unnecessary. From B3TA.