I’ve long been a big fan of bad song parodies and bleak Victorian novels. So imagine my delight on discovering this combination:

Hey Jude

Don’t make it bad.

It already is,

It won’t get better.

Remember, you’re just a pawn of fate.

And it’s too late

To make it better.

Hey Jude, you’re gonna die.

And so are lotsa folks who’ve metcha.

Remember the shit that happened to Tess?

That kinda stress

Is going to getcha.

Additional verses welcome, albeit unnecessary. From B3TA.