A friend just emailed me this story. In his defence, he’s dyslexic and wrote it when drunk. Against his defence, err, the story. Sometimes I fear my friends.

Nothyng Wotsoever

Herman woke up wiped the dried seamen from his eyes and ejaculated louly and un comfotambly ,his loins trembled with a lack of pashion. Oh oh oh jess his throbbing male member wined in an unconvincing welsh accent..he beat himself off agin using a blunt scalpal. His fantasies had been going down hill sinc the holcorst.

Quiverring slightly his partnr left without giving him a third glance, and threw up on his way down the esculator. His pulsing conshence attacked him again but this time with more real pashion nd less ‘carry-on’ irony. With regret he accepted a kind of relinty and pealled back his teabag duvet. Realising he was no longer in a childrens bbc documentary he burst the third boil on his right thigh. Annd blast those buget electricians this could have been purgatory on earth but now it was just som sad christmastry collage an he was the fairy.

Steffan examined herman with a detached air and a pride in his lack of fluffy white rabbits. Wailling herman managed to block out pleasant relityys and jumped into a lepARD SKIIN Gstringwhich chaffed but alittle, he felt dressed and redy for theday ahead. . Groping for some kind of moral or hidden message steffan died unconvincingly and nobody even bothered to whipe his smered lipstick so he looked ‘beautiful’ again.

O wo oh wo cried wol the owl ,and the whole story colapsef into Disney on acid.aaddin binnded intoroom usibg special’indian’ rope’trick’.Jess quitly ;’creamed her tarts’ in the corner but not even the lecherous drubk x dublinner old age hippy cared about that. Herman having reached the moist entrance to the local theme park, foolishly purchased a ticked to the ripped sphincter ride. (the cruyd liked that).

Quickley he realised the basis for the ‘rides’ name and cried like you would imagine a jism encrusted pale goose pimpled fleshed lepar skin g string wearing star of a mills an boon novel would. The large mulatto freek in the car behind him shrieked with a mixture of pleasure and pasta and pondered existence itself.

The US military leaked pictures of Saddam in his pants to the Sun, and then "said the photos appeared to breach Geneva Convention rules on the humane treatment of prisoners of war".

Presumably, they said this in the sense of "ha ha, we breached the Geneva Convention *again*, and we don’t give a fuck. Now we’re going to go and murder some more Ay-rabs. God bless America. And journalists are evil".

There are certain Americans who amaze me by continuing to maintain that they’re right-wing or conservative, despite believing in most or all of the decent and good things that the modern day US conservative movement vehemently opposes. Examples include John Cole, Andrew Sullivan and especially Dan Drezner.

I was reminded of this odd group by a recent Dan Drezner post on suicide bombers. It’s interesting in itself – he links to a study pointing out that suicide bombing has little correlation with fundamentalist Islam, and a strong correlation with foreign occupation. Sure’ it’s obvious (suicide bombing is the ultimate example of an asymmetric warfare tactic, and the only militarily rational response to occupation by a far stronger power is to use the best asymmetric warfare tactics you can find), but it’s good to see specific evidence.

Almost more interesting is that a majority of the proper right-wingers who infest Mr Drezner’s comments (presumably because he adds a little vestigal decency to their cause by choosing to associate with them) immediately assume the study is lying, and that its author (and Mr Drezner) must Hate ‘Merka And The Joos.

Come, decent right-wingers! Abandon your fanatical coloured-person-hating, queer-bashing, death-loving cohorts, and join the Liberal Side! You have nothing to lose but your Cheney-ites!

This BBC Have Your Say piece rather answers the question (you don’t need to read the responses, just the respondents’ names…)

As with George Galloway, I’m not a great fan of Jenny Tonge; however, her peerage should annoy precisely 100% of the right people.

The Militant Pine Marten has rather a disturbing post on how the new government’s proposed laws combine to reintroduce the offence of sedition. Just what we need…

OK, I will refuse to register for an ID card but only if 3,000,000 people will sign up.

Via Perfect.

1) It’s almost certainly true that US troops desecrated Korans at Guantanamo.

2) Newsweek’s story was taken from a government source, as it claimed. The fact that the government source retracted after publication is Neither Here Nor There.

3) The riots are a complete red herring: if 12 maniacs are willing to kill themselves for something so monumentally trivial, I’m glad the stupid fuckers are dead and so should you be.

4) The increasing pressure placed on media organisations by governments and screeching right-wing fanatics is a Very Very Bad Thing. The Hutton enquiry shouldn’t have happened; Easton Jordan shouldn’t have been fired; Newsweek shouldn’t have been obliged to retract this story.

Journalism is a vital tool carried out by sensible people with generally honest motives; religious fanaticism and politics are not; and anyone who supports the latter over the former is, erm, questionable in my book.

I don’t like George Galloway, for a wide range of reasons. However, if he continues skewering gung-ho right-wing idiots in this vein, I may have to re-evaluate. Best Speech Ever…

As always, hooray for the USA.