The Supreme Court has struck down Arthur Andersen’s conviction for witchcraft. Morgan Stanley now plans to appeal its witchcraft conviction.

"Witchcraft conviction", you say? Pretty much. "Not co-operating with politically-motivated prosecutors" is the kind of ‘crime’ for which people were destroyed in the USSR, not the kind of crime that should destroy people’s livelihoods in the West today.

Rule of thumb: any article which says something as silly as "Amnesty International was founded in part to serve as a watchdog of Communist human-rights abuse" is a waste of ink/bandwidth. No, it was founded to serve as a watchdog of human-rights abuse. You’re just projecting ‘Communist’ in there because you’re a right-wing American and therefore obsessed with Commies fluoridating your drinking water…

The rest of the article criticises Amnesty for suggesting that Guantanamo Bay is in any way comparable to the Gulag. Apparently, because the prisoners at the former are only 600 in number, aren’t local and aren’t used as slave labour, the other similarities Don’t Exist.

Two particularly quality bits: a) the ‘contrast’ of "Seizure of Gulag prisoners: From apartments, homes, street corners inside the Soviet Union"; "Seizure of Gitmo prisoners: From battlefield sites in Afghanistan in the midst of war". The latter can, of course, be paraphrased as "from apartments, home, street corners inside Afghanistan, where they lived". b) "No one argues that the vast majority of those imprisoned there were al-Qaeda personnel". Now, I *think* he’s incorrectly using "argues" to mean "denies", in which case he’s talking out of his arse. If he’s using it correctly, he’s probably a little closer to the truth (clue: Taliban != AQ)…

Unre(a)d Eric has a rather different take on the article from mine. He seems to think that Amnesty are displaying "stunning naivety" about terrorists while pouring "scorn, cyncism and vitriol" on their own governments. *I’m* guilty of the latter, for sure; Amnesty aren’t (and what’s this about no longer being "willing to criticise all governments on an equal basis"? Amnesty’s reports on China, Burma etc could hardly be described as glowing praise…)

The "naivety" is another story altogether. In Amnesty’s case, it’s not even relevant. Its job is to alert people of human rights abuses, not to assess whether the human rights abuses can be justified in the context of the threat facing the government in question – the latter is rightly left to society to decide in retrospect.

When it comes to actually deciding, unless those who accuse people who get sniffy about internment without trial, torture, murder, etc of ‘naivety’ actually have access to secret files of dozens of almost-successful Al Qaeda plots to destroy us all, they’ve got no grounds for their charges.

On the basis of the evidence publicly available, plus conversations with a few people who know more than that, Islamist terrorism appears highly unlikely to have a significant impact on what happens in the West. My conclusion, therefore, is that the worst thing we can do is undermine our own freedom for fear of the bogeyman. And as the ricin plot saga shows, my view tends to be supported by the unspun evidence…

At least the choice of Dominique de Villepin as new French PM will piss off the Yanks (who deserve to be thoroughly pissed off for their insane hypocrisy over civil aviation, if nothing else).

Sadly, this is the *only* thing in Mr de Villepin’s favour.

Christopher Hitchens may be, on some levels, a twat. However, my respect for him is strongly renewed following this exchange:

Female audience member Excuse me. I’m not usually awkward at all but I’m sitting here and we’re asked not to smoke. And I don’t like being in a room where smoking is going on.

CH (smoking heavily): Well, you don’t have to stay, do you darling. I’m working here and I’m your guest. OK. This is what I like.

IK Would you just stub that one out?

CH No. I cleared it with the festival a long time ago. They let me do it. If anyone doesn’t like it they can kiss my ass.

(Woman walks out)

The rest of the debate between Christopher and Peter Hitchens is worth reading, too.

Next time I hear someone suggesting that the reason liberals don’t want to hang, boil alive, and generally fuck up Antisocial Youths is because we live in gated suburban communities sheltered from the Real Concerns of the Working People, I’m going to find out where they live.

Unless the complainant lives somewhere more Real, Urban and Ungated than I (which I suspect to be unlikely), I’m then going to don a hoodie, break into their house, and cut their fucking head off while they sleep. How’s that for antisocial behaviour, you smug totalitarian wankjob?

Nosemonkey at Europhobia points out an amusing howler by Oliver Kamm (describing Gerhard Schroder as "the most feckless and unprincipled Chancellor in the history of democratic Germany", thereby implying that Hitler was principled and, err, feckful).

All very amusing. But not as amusing as the comments section, where an ignorant, arrogant, anonymous Kamm-ite wanker accuses Nosemonkey of all kinds of stupidity and ignorance on the basis of, err, nothing whatsoever.

I wonder if it’s the great man himself?

Harry Hutton says I’m a hooah. Harry Hutton is right; Harry Hutton can also go and fuck himself.

Scaryduck is also a hooah. However, his impassioned defence of the BBC is well worth a read. And apparently they’re scheduled to have their entire broadcast archive on line by the end of 2005, which would be (approximately) The Best Thing Ever.

Sorry for limited posting: my computer is currently in bits, and I’ve been too drunk over this weekend to put it back together. Anyway, here are some rough riffings on the weekend’s News…

Jacques Chirac will be rather fecked off today. Tony Blair will be rather pleased. Many pundits will radically exaggerate the impact of the vote. Europe will muddle on pretty much as it was before.

Say what you like about Bill Clinton, but at least he bombed Sudan instead of leaving the vile bastards who run it in charge. Their latest move is to arrest the director of Medecins Sans Frontiers for compiling a report on the number of government-backed rapes in Darfur. It’s a shame that the Iraq fuckup has permanently discredited the concept (in terms of both motives and ability to not make things worse) of Western humanitarian military intervention in the eyes of the rest of the world.

Oh, and Virgin Radio listeners are deaf, mad and stupid.

Email the Advertising Standards Agency with the following message:

"Please, please, please make the ‘Crazy Frog’ adverts go away and end the nightmare for me and thousands of others. I would more merrily listen to my own teeth being drilled with a rusty screw tip than endure one more repeat of that advert.

"Please, I can’t promise it won’t push me over the edge. Don’t let that forever be on your consciences."

(via Silicon.com)

Update: *don’t* do this – the ASA are (somewhat disingenously) interpreting such complaints as being about frequency rather than about content. Send an email pointing out how aesthetically offensive the content is instead…

Shorter USS Neverdock: "Why should we care about our troops torturing Muslims and desecrating Islamic symbols, when some Muslims torture Christians and desecrate the Bible?"

An actual quote: "Hollywood’s latest crusade movie rewrites history to make the Christians the bad guys". Like the way Schindler’s List rewrote history to make the Germans the bad guys, presumably. Another: "First we have to admit that we are at war and the enemy is Islam, distasteful as that is, it is accurate".

No, first we have to admit that you’re a fucking nutcase, and that the only reason not to oppose anti-free-speech religious protection laws is that at least they’d send a few wankers like you to Belmarsh…