Harry Hutton at Chase me ladies I’m in the Cavalry has been chasing Boris Johnson, sorry Johnsons. He wrote a very nice letter to Sir Boris in which he suggested that:

The modern Conservative Party is an old man wanking into a sock.

And he got a reply! Ok not from BJ himself, but still.

Meanwhile BJ himself is ruminating on the subject of Prince Harry’s coursework, but somehow he gets distracted:

…The whole thing still filled me with such tedium that the lobster decayed, emitting appalling vapours. I had to dispose of the crustacean…

Nevertheless his article is full of fascinating insights:

And if you are a politician, or a journalist, believe me, you find that you are asked endlessly to suck in and then expel information like some undersea coelenterate [n : radially symmetrical animals having saclike bodies with only one opening and tentacles with stinging structures; they occur in polyp and medusa forms].

Back in 1868 US president Andrew Johnson was very nearly impeached, which is exactly what Pootergeek wants to happen Boris Johnson’s hair, on the grounds that

it wilfully misrepresents the state of his scalp to the Commons and to the country.

Posted by Larry