Not so much a pro-American bigot as an ragingly anti-anti-American bigot: I give you the spectacularly humourless VariFrank.

The scene he outlines: during post-tsunami office banter, European colleague says "haha, George Bush is so dumb, there’s a disaster in the world and he sends an aircraft carrier…". It’s not the best joke in the world: indeed, like David Beckham jokes, it’s funny only because it mocks a pathetic and ridiculous individual.

Varifrank’s response, as he proudly relates, was to point out in laboured detail how American aircraft carriers are great things to send along, because they contain power, hospitals, desalination plants, horny airmen to revitalise the sex tourism industry, etc, followed by a traditional rant about Americans saving Europe in WWII, followed by calling the joke-teller a "sniggering little fuckjob". His colleagues, he relates, fell into an embarassed silence at this. I can believe that this happened, although I don’t think the embarassment was for the reasons he thinks it is.

Had I been there, there’s a reasonable chance I would have broken the silence. "Just fuck off; I’d rather be ruled by Nazis and take my chances with the gas chambers than hear one more sanctimonious cunt bitching about, because some of his relatives fought in a war 60 years ago, he and all his countrymen are morally superior to the rest of the world. The rest of the world doesn’t fucking want you. Go crawl under a rock and die before you fuck anything else up, you fat-arsed dicklord," might have been an option.

(to be fair on the guy, he does admit he’s too dull-witted to write, so perhaps one should cut him some slack…)