Things to do today

Read Wall Street, the book for free, and find out how financial markets work. Then read Michael Howard’s blog for insight into the Tory hive-mind. Speaking of Mr Howard, you should also read this article on how hard it is to keep a hospital clean (unsurprisingly, very).

Join Richard Herring in attempting to revive a fine English Saint’s Day tradition. No, not the apocryphal Turkish reptile-slaughterer: "Nowadays, thanks to political correctness gone mad, attacking students is against the law, but I believe in honour of this historical event we should make an exception for St Scholastica’s Day.

"On this occasion all decent, ordinary, hard-working normal people are allowed to absent themselves from their place of labour and search out University students. If they discover any they must playfully batter them round the head with twigs, branches or iron bars, but the beating MUST STOP once the student is dead."

And finally, if you encounter anyone who uses the phrase "pie in the sky" or the word "gaffe" in any context whatsoever [*], you should puncture their eyes with compasses.

[*] Other than in the context of suggesting horrible punishments for people who use it in other contexts, obviously.

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4 thoughts on “Things to do today

  1. That would be "gaffe" in the sense of a sort of primitive harpoon, for skewering students?

  2. Fair enough on Howard’s ridiculous MRSA poster – it annoys my wife, and she is an infection control nurse, so she knows the facts. But both parties are guilty of misrepresenting this for political gain – Reid’s target to reduce hospital acquired infections by 50% is ridiculous – just ask any microbiologist, or anyone with any grasp of evolution and pharma industry R&D – and it prevents good recording of data. Watch for the next wave of scandal over the short-term about relatives dying and family members having to force doctors to admit that it was MRSA that killed them.

    She’s still voting Tory, though, having said that.

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