Poppy power

Liberating Afghanistan from the Taliban’s anti-drug zealots has produced a record heroin crop. "Britain is already suffering from record amounts of heroin entering the country, with prices of the narcotic at an all-time low", says the Independent.

On the plus side, reports the Onion, "in spite of his debilitating addiction, junkie David Spellman is safer, warmer, healthier, and happier than nearly every poppy farmer in Afghanistan."

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5 thoughts on “Poppy power

  1. Guess which Gulf state beginning with "I" is historically a very significant heroin producer, currently producing well below capacity thanks to its fundamentalist Muslim government, but scheduled for a bout of purple index fingers, 50% higher mortality rates and disappearance of the legal system, some time in 2006?

    Is there any exchange which would allow me to go short heroin futures?

  2. Given some of the other products of liberation economies, you could start a whole futures market charting the comparative fortunes of heroin, 13 year old Moldovan prostitutes, Islamic snuff videos, kidnapping revenues, etc, etc

  3. We must create WARDAQ. Buy and sell warlords, trade prostitutes for uranium. Buy prime poppy growing land and watch your investment go through the roof as those helpfull Americans invade!

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