If only

It would have been pleasingly fitting if this horrible witch had accidentally hammered herself to death while indulging in her deranged brand of nimbyism:

"[Pete Doherty] had ignored every request to turn down the music. I ran downstairs and shouted at him, roared at him – I don’t even know if I said any actual words – and I just ran at him, waving the hammer…"

There are few sets of people worse than whiny noise-complaining ninnies (indeed, all council noise abatement officers should be replaced by a recorded phone line saying "pull yourself together, you tedious arsehole"); violent noise-complaining ninnies certainly qualify. Go buy some earplugs.

Update: even if Pete Doherty eats babies loudly at unsociable hours while playing Survivor’s Eye Of The Tiger over the screams of their mothers, he’s still less of a cunt than Robbie Williams.

(via Samizdata, who have a particularly stupid take on the story, as one might expect)

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12 thoughts on “If only

  1. I love her line "He is presented as some kind of hero. He is not. The truth is that he made me very sick with incessant loud music, day and night,"

    Yes, because being a rock and roll star and disturbing your neighbours with noise are mutually exclusive.

  2. Obviously her tone is grating, but having noisy neighbours in a poorly sound-insulated flat is really shite. You must be lucky in that respect but I won’t wish it on you.

  3. You’re not often wrong, John, but you’re dead wrong on this one; junkies who don’t turn their music down after midnight are perfectly suitable candidates for vigilante justice, although in the spirit of proportionate response I would tend to advocate swinging the hammer in the direction of the offending stereo rather than the owner. I adopt the approach that if someone wants to have a party every now and then, fair enough, but being unable to sleep in your own bed every night of the week is just bloody miserable and not something that anyone should have to put up with.

  4. Hmmmm, on the whole, now that I’m getting into the swing of "vigilante justice", I think that my ideal outcome would be for Pete Doherty to beat the living crap out of Samizdata, give up heroin and then buy some headphones. Btw, the chap on the Samizdata thread who calls him a "scrawny get" is dead wrong; I’ve bumped into him a couple of times round and about Camden and he is pretty stocky for a junkie.

  5. Whenever I read Samizdata I feel like I’ve suffered a head wound. D’you think I’d be able to get away with stabbing them all in self-defence?

  6. Sorry John, but I’m a whiny noise-complaining ninny too. A bit of noise now and again I’m not too bothered about. But constant noise coming from next-door’s hi-fi is not reasonable. A couple of years ago, I had an upstairs neighbour who kept playing "Eye of the Tiger". On repeat play. I was close to getting the hammer out, myself.

  7. I just ran at him, waving the hammer…

    Fuck me. Wouldn’t he have been ‘within his rights’ to shoot her?

  8. Well, you see, the proprietor of this site is called John, and in my opinion he’s not often wrong.

    Like if you started a website, and the things you posed on it were usually not wrong, I might say "You’re not often wrong, Jimmy". It’s a phrase in fairly common usage, isn’t it?

  9. Yes, very well, but nobody is more of a cunt than Robbie Williams, except his songwriter Guy Chambers who called his child "Isis Bunny". I hope she brains him with a hammer while roaring inarticulately when she grows up.

  10. ‘Btw, the chap on the Samizdata thread who calls him a "scrawny get" is dead wrong; I’ve bumped into him a couple of times round and about Camden and he is pretty stocky for a junkie.’
    Maybe he had PD confused with his missus.

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