At Richard Herring’s fantasy funeral: "Not only should the church be full of weeping women who then lez up, but my hearse must be pulled by wailing women in black bikinis, accompanied by a man slamming chords on his guitar and then (as happened tonight) once the hearse stopped the women must do a kind of sexy trapeze act…. and then they should lez up too."
This is weirdly similar to the fantasy funeral I told a couple of friends about in the pub last week. Although mine included all my exes in a cage, which would have made it better.
It seems clear that Richard Herring is taking my amusing real-life and imaginary situations, making them less good so that people believe he could actually have written them, and using them as his own material. I guess this is reasonable penance for me doing exactly the same thing to him ten years ago…
I hate to say it, but Richard Herring’s fantasy first appeared in print last July – I remember quoting it to my wife at the time, and it was the work of a moment to track it down.
Surprisingly enough, it’s the only result the Guardian search engine returns for the phrase "lez up".
Damn. I missed that first time round (I was in a non-Guardian frame of mind at the time, I think), so obviously Richard must be using his great and mysterious powers to manipulate my subconscious into *believing* that he stole my fantasy.
Which is, in many ways, worse.
I want to know how Mrs Mike took it.
U R aanid E ut
If I created a funeral home that would do this for you would you pay out the ass for it? I’m thinking seriously about it and have gathered the funding. I just need to know if poeple will go?