Question: is there anyone out there who -doesn’t- agree that all nightclub bouncers are vile scum, and cheer when some punter retaliates in the way they fully deserve (for example, by turning up after their shift and shooting them dead…)?

I used to feel the same way about policemen, but now realise that most of them range between average and good people trying to do a hard job. I guess it’s possible the same is true for bouncers – but it seems unlikely.

Coppers have to stop bad people from doing horrible things. Bouncers have to stop people from being in a club if they’re wearing trainers, or have had a couple of drinks already, or are falling asleep, or are generally doing anything you might want to do on a night out… Remind me why they even exist?

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6 thoughts on “Nightclubbing

  1. The only night club bouncer I know well was a gentle and humerous local government number cruncher until he got made redundant. Then he did an intensive training course including aspects of law and first aid, and was allowed to work as a bouncer.

    He told me a story about a colleague who had his arm broken by a drunk because he wasn’t allowed to defend himself adequately. Afterwards he lashed out with his remaining arm, and got sacked for over-reacting.

    If pissed-up arseholes didn’t think it was big or clever to try and force their way into places with a dress code when they aren’t up to it, bouncers wouldn’t have to exist.

    Now grow up.

  2. Hmm. I imagine that the truth of the story in small-c-chris’ second para is more than a little different from how his friend tells it. But maybe I’m wrong.

    And if venues didn’t insist on having ridiculous dress codes and banning people from having fun, bouncers also wouldn’t have to exist.

    Chris L – interesting article. I guess I tend to conflate the deranged requirements of a combination of "the law enforcement community", licensing authorities and club management, and the actions of the proportion of bouncers who actually are utter scumbags, and assume that all bouncers are responsible for inflicting all of the above (rather than merely being the most visible people responsible).

    Still, I think I’m entitled to blame them to some extent for choosing to work in an profession that compels them to cause irritation and annoyance and generally spoil people’s fun.

  3. I’m sure tha some bouncers are genuine good humoured people. These gentle giants, guardians of the door to a quiet, restful drinking arena ae probably few and far between.

    As a home counties drunk (which of course makes be able to speak for the rest of the world) most bouncers are in their profession because it’s what they love. Violence, most that I’ve spoken to have day jobs too. That involve violence.

    One local ‘hard man’ even gets to use knuckle dusters and a very shiny extendable baton in their day job. Surprisingly (or not) it’s related to immigration.

    And I haven’t forgiven another local bouncer for setting up his ex girlfriend and his current to fight and then watch the ensuing mess. Mate then tried to calm things down and seperate the two and was lamped for interfering with the bouncers business. Still it’s not often you see a financial advisor with a black eye, maybe the world would be better if you did….

  4. Ever worked in a nightclub yourself ? That’s a pretty sweeping generalisation. The fact of the matter is, if some people could be trusted to behave like rational human beings and less like a troop of psychotic baboons when then go out drinking there wouldn’t be any need for doorstaff.

  5. While I won’t deny that there are a few nightclub bouncers out there who go a little overboard when dealing with unruly patrons, anyone who thinks nightclub bouncers are all scum ought to try and sit on the other side of the fence. Nightclub security becomes necessary when the clientele cannot govern themselves.

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