Preemptive

"Let us congratulate the Lebanese, not those in Washington who would take credit for their accomplishments." – Ed Kilgore guesting at TPM.

I really, really, hope the Lebanese get rid of the Syrians and move closer towards proper democracy. I hope the Iranians get rid of the theocrats and move towards proper democracy (and that we don’t fuck it all up by bombing them in the meantime). I hope the Egyptians, the Tunisians, and ultimately even the Saudis, follow suit.

However, should these great events come to pass, I still reserve the right to be very, very angry about the fact that George W Bush, despite having done nothing of value to further democracy in the Middle East, will get much of the credit.

It will happen. Consider the praise Ronnie Reagan received for the collapse of the Soviet Union – which was caused almost entirely by the inherent unsustainability of the regime. The bravery of Eastern European dissidents played a significant part in ensuring that what came after was broadly good rather than bad, and rhetorical and financial support from the US had some impact on keeping dissident groups going, but this hardly warrants primary credit. And the current administration’s Middle Eastern policy is *at absolute best* no more significant.

Update: as one might expect, Stephen Pollard is first in the queue to insult the Arab world and praise the Monkey God.

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World’s end update

Q: Why does the world hate America? A: I simply can’t imagine.

Texas congressman Sam Johnson’s comments (broadly, "we should nuke Syria out of existence") are worse than anything that anyone of any importance on the left – politicians and pundits alike – has said since 9/11. Worse in the sense of more offensive, and worse in the sense of making people outside America keener on destroying America.

Hell, if I thought Americans in general were like Sam Johnson, then I’d be keen to destroy America (as it is, I’m merely keen to destroy Texas).

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D’ye Ken?

Read this defence of Ken Livingstone. Not only does it do the easy thing (pointing out how completely fucking nonsensical the accusations of antisemitism over the Evening Standard row are), it also does the hard thing (coming up with a strong argument for why Ken’s decision to meet with Yousef Al-Qaradhawi was the right one).

Excellent work. You may want to read the rest of Jim Bliss’s site as well – he makes a lot of sense, for a hippy.

From the other side of the political (and idiocy) spectrum, a terror hawk named Giles at a site named Jacob’s Room has decided to run a vote to come up with a new nickname for Ken – one which reflects their belief that he’s trivialised the Jewish people’s suffering by failing to take the Holocaust seriously. The options include Blackshirt Ken, Adolf EichKen, and Kongestion Kamp Ken…

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So, so, sophist

Read, if you can bear it, this. Summary: Oliver Kamm draws our attention to yesterday’s horrible bombing in Iraq, and then says how disgraceful The Pseudo-Left are for believing that it’s OK.

The only thing missing from his argument is, err, any evidence that The Pseudo-Left think the bombing is OK. The one link he supplies refers to Stop The War Coalition suggesting that it’s reasonable for the ‘resistance’ to target Western civilians who work for the occupation. While this is not an appealing viewpoint, it’s very, very different from supporting the mass-murder of Iraqis.

Update: Kamm replies (obviously he doesn’t *link* to his opponents – that would allow people to read what they’d actually written), and misses the point entirely. Yes, STWC said ‘by whatever means they find necessary’ in the context of Ken Bigley. This can’t be meant literally, unless Kamm wishes to claim that STWC believe the Iraqi resistance would be justified in destroying the entire world to end the occupation.

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Bomb joke update

It seems that the message has sunk in with the general public that joking about bombs to airport security people, although amusing, is unwise.

The lastest twist on the story, however, features some unfortunate chap joking about bombs with his mate on the plane, and some exceptionally jobsworthy cabin crewpersons overhearing this and reporting it as a Serious Terrorist Incident.

Remember, when you’re on an aeroplane, you are entirely subject to the whims of the humourless minimum-waged morons who provide you what’s laughably referred to as ‘in-flight service’. As with security guards, nightclub bouncers, and other people who have nothing going for them other than the ability to make things rubbish for those with less miserable lives, it’s best not to fuck with them.

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I speak the word of God

Despite appearances to the contrary, I don’t actually know the mind of God. Still, based on the bible, the koran and assorted hadith, I’ve got some idea of what one might reasonably expect a semitic-monotheist-religion-type deity to like and dislike.

Were I God, my biggest dislike would be of people assuming that I’m an idiot. I’m not an idiot: I’m an omniscient God. If I tell you not to do something, and then you come up with a silly semantic distinction which means you think you can get away with it and I won’t notice, then you’re really, really going to piss me off.

Harry Hutton made this point a while ago about Islamic banking. Ophelia at Butterflies & Wheels now has an article on temporary marriages, which touches on similar ground: while extramarital sex is very forbidden in Islam, some Shia believe that it’s perfectly legitimate to get married to a (prostitute/client, depending on which one you are) for two hours, then get divorced once the shagging is over.

Obviously, a religion which outlaws mortgages is bloody stupid and hard to stick to; a religion which imposes draconian punishments on extramarital sex is also bloody stupid and hard to stick to [*]. But God’s told you to do it: either you pay attention to him, you decide he doesn’t exist, or you accept you’re going to go to hell. Cute sophistry really isn’t going to cut it…

Unrelatedly, it’s been a couple of years since I last looked at Michael Kelly’s site, and his new-ish logic puzzles page is excellent. Indeed, #17 is my favourite logic puzzle ever, while #23 runs it a close favourite.

[*] This probably reads more like Islam-bashing than I intended. The same self-serving readings of religious injunctions are, of course, also prevalent among Christians and Jews of all varieties.

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Indiscriminate slaughter

There’s an interesting take on the Eason Jordan scandal here. The final comment is the most interesting: broadly, the real scandal is not that Mr Jordan correctly pointed out at Davos that the US Army kills journalists and civilians, nor even that he was made to resign for stating this truth – but that he didn’t state it live on CNN in the first place.

Speaking of murderous behaviour in the Middle East, at least one Blairite insider has reportedly said the UK will join in any wrong-headed Yank plans to invade Iran. I *hope* this is just a Tory smear designed to cut Labour support…

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Timing

British sort-of-terrorist Saajid Badat pled guilty at the Old Bailey today. He’s apparently part of the same comedically ineffective conspiracy that brought us gibbering madman Richard Reid.

Despite the guilty plea, the prosecution accepts the defence’s claim that Mr Badat never seriously intended to do any shoe-bombing – rather, he agreed to the plot to impress assorted foreign extremists, and then left the bomb in his attic for years instead of going ahead on the planned date. This should significantly reduce his sentence.

Only a terribly cynical person could conclude that the timing and outcome of this court appearance were in any way related to certain other things currently in the news. And it would be *unthinkable* to suggest that Mr Badat might have been offered a favourable plea bargain to ensure that Blair and Clarke’s plans to destroy our liberty got knocked off the front pages by a Dangerous Evil Terrorist.

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Newspaper suggestion

If I ran a newspaper, it would take all its news from the Reuters and AP wires. I like their house styles and their broadly unbiased coverage (whereas even the Telegraph, the UK’s final bastion of newspaper journalism, has descended into agenda-driven tabloid hell) – and they’re far better resourced than any startup paper could afford to be.

To offset the dry news pages, the comment and analysis section would be a den of inflammatory madness. We’d hire moderates, extremists and jokers from all sides. As well as contributions from professional hacks and The (Great/Irrelevant) And The (Good/Bad), we’d republish articles from crazy right-wing bloggers and left-wing maniacs [*] alike (in both cases, having rigorously copy-edited them to ensure their authors’ intellectual disabilities were reflected only in terms of content rather than style). Nobody should come away from the comment section unoffended or unchallenged.

It’d be fun.

[*] Can’t find any lefties who even come close to the glorious insanity of the minor bloggers on the US right. Would appreciate links if anyone can…

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