TTHAW

Tube passenger numbers are down 30% at weekends and 15% during the week. Fuck you all, you cowardly bunch of losers.

Actually, in mitigation, large amounts of the Tube network have been shut for the last four weeks. Not any more: well done to TfL for getting everything sorted and opened today. Now there’s no excuse.

If you’re worried about terrorism becoming a biweekly event, then don’t be: on current trends, if today features any follow-up attacks, it will involve ruthless-but-useless bombers throwing French bangers on entirely empty Tube trains. And the French bangers will fail to go off…

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13 thoughts on “TTHAW

  1. I used the tube last monday – the northern, central and jubilee lines to be precise – and i’m still in one peice. Marvel at my terrorism-stopping powers.

  2. For reference, based on the passenger numbers on TfL’s site, knocking out the Circle, Hammersmith and City, and Piccadilly lines would reduce passenger numbers by about 20% during the week and about 25% at weekends. Of course, the Piccadilly line was not completely out of action, but it looks to me like the majority of the effect here is just what you’d expect from closing the lines. As you’d expect the additional "terror effect" is bigger on the weekend shopping mob than the weekday going-to-work crowd.

  3. Your theory makes sense, Chris.

    I doubt people have much choice about going to work whereas the weekend shopping crowd do have a choice. Also, although office workers could cycle to work rather than taking the tube i suspect the large no of careless drivers around would somewhat deter them!

  4. That might overstates it a bit as there are alternatives, and not all the lines were closed all the time. But also doesn’t traffic decline through July/August anyway?

  5. That means it will be easier for us all to get a seat. So boooo to the terrorists, your campaign has just increased our quality of life so there.

  6. "But also doesn’t traffic decline through July/August anyway?"

    Presumably, but I’d hope the quoted figures are appropriately seasonally adjusted!

  7. Mind you, t’Bakerloo was a tad quiet this morning. Waterloo was apparently the scene of some sort of Police Federation demo..

  8. It hasn’t just been the big high-profile closures btw; there have been lots of little bits-and-pieces station closures on random lines at random times over the last couple of weeks.

  9. Q. Are you worried every time you pass an Asian because of recent events?

    A. No beacuse I have enough roughage in my diet

  10. Thanks for that, CB – it made me laugh.

    I once encountered a real demo made up entirely of policemen, in Vienna – it was strangely lacklustre and less well-drilled than the anarchist ones..although maybe those were full of undercover cops and the police one was all undercover anarchists…

  11. I’ll say this much, there are a lot more wobbly cyclists getting in my way these days. And the number of dangerous drivers has also risen. Almost enough to make me go back to the tube. The only trouble is, I hate the tube – which was the whole reason for starting to cycle (months ago, I’ll add) in the first place.

    London is full of shits. If the terrorists scare some away, so much the better. Unfortunately they seem merely to have scared them onto the roads, which are infinitely more dangerous than the underground anyway. Yet more evidence that people are stupid.

  12. The thing is, Osama is thinking further into the future than you give him credit for. Fewer public transit users = more cars on the road = more expensive gas = more Saudi money to pay for bombs on the London underground

    The man is a genius, I tell you what.

  13. I think Gordon Brown probably planted the bombs. Here’s why:

    Every time we have a long period of (relative) economic prosperity, we get higher levels of employment and, ergo, more traffic on the tube. TfL’s bacon is always saved at the last minute just when the tube is fit to burst and there is no more capacity with a nice sharp recession to reduce traffic volumes. Phew! that puts back the need for serious investment!

    So along comes Brownie and "ends boom and bust". What are we to do? How are we to cope with ever-rising volumes if he won’t give us the mountains of dosh needed to deal with the problem.

    I’ve never trusted that man you know….

    Toodle Pip!
    PG

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