I think I might need a break. I get one in 2.5 weeks, but that may be insufficiently soon.
I just saw someone reading the Daily Mail in the local cafe, and felt a near-irresistible compulsion to go up to him and scream "are you a Nazi? Are you a fucking Nazi? Do you hate the blacks and the gays? If not, why are you reading that fucking Nazi rag? The Times and the Independent are both tabloid-size now, so you can’t give that as an excuse; you’re clearly just a fucking Nazi. I hope you die, you piece of shit", while punching him repeatedly in the head.
Even though I managed to resist said compulsion, I still don’t think this is good.
The way I’m currently keeping myself sane is by discovering new conspiracy theories. The latest one I’ve found would impress even Dr Andrew Wakefield.
Couldn’t agree more. No need for everyone to wibble on about shooting burglars – just make the burglars read the Mail. They’ll have shot themselves outo of self-loathing, self-righteously ingidnant rage by page 6.
Either that, or just out of utter revulsion, frustration and dispair at the frankly shocking state of – gulp – the only paper in England currently operating at a decent profit. *hangs head in shame*
I gotta start reading the Mail…
I loathe the Mail anyway because of it’s fascination with pseudoscience and serialisations of books that claim fish aliens built the Pyramids, etc, etc…
If had read it in the past though, I’d be too damn scared to now :)
Actually John, thinking about it you could discover lots of new conspiracy theories by reading the Daily Mail.
Well, that’s a narrow escape – I often read the Mail in public, largely because I pick up a free abandoned copy during my daily commute most days.
Maybe I should have a T-shirt printed that says "I KNOW I’M READING THE MAIL BUT I DESPISE EVERYTHING IT STANDS FOR AND HAVE NEVER PAID FOR A COPY" in case John should ever be on the same train – but it might be a bit nippy at this time of year.
It’s strange that Metro is completely tolerable considering its relationship to the Daily Mail and Evening Standard. Almost as though they write sensible stories for Metro, then embellish them with crap for the other papers.
I read the Mail everyday as Fitness First gyms give it away. Well perhaps once a week. But anyway the letters page plus Simon Heffer are surely worth it on their own?
The Evening Standard was actually a half-decent paper from the mid-to-late 1990s under Max Hastings, where it had a mildly eccentric and decidedly old-fashioned one-nation Tory position that I found rather appealing amongst the rest of the Tory press, but since then Veronica Wadley has turned it into more or less a clone of the Mail – not quite as foam-flecked and venomous (except when Ken Livingstone is concerned), but along broadly the same lines.
But anyway the letters page plus Simon Heffer are surely worth it on their own?
Ah, yes, Simon Heffer, the ranting right-wing bigot all other ranting right-wing bigots aspire to become…
I think it is an appropriate time to point you all in the direction of the truth behind the Daily Mail.
Does anyone else remember Private Eye’s demonstration of how to decode the message “THE DAILY MAIL IS PISS-POOR” contained in the Book of Revelation?
But where would be without the Mail…?
The blogosphere would be emptier!