The abolition of satire

People who should know better are kicking up a fuss about Charlie Brooker’s latest Guardian humour piece (update – link changed to a mirror site), in which he concludes that should George Bush be elected or re-selected this time round, a "John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr" might be the world’s best hope for salvation.

They’re being wankers, and deserve a kicking. Of course it’s acceptable to joke about murder and assassination… it’s known as ‘comedy’. Although increasing numbers of people on the UK blog scene are refusing to acknowledge the existence of comedy, humour, or satire – at least when it’s nasty.

This trend is especially common among unrepentant pro-war liberals, presumably since surgical sense-of-humour removal is the only way they can keep a straight face while they attempt to justify their support for the disaster in Iraq and the broader Operation Fear The Bogeyman, Yes There Really Are Crazed Darkies Under Your Bed, Let’s Bomb Everywhere And Arrest Everyone.

While I approve of Mr Brooker’s article, his thesis is wrong. As I’ve already discussed, Bush’s assassination would put some equally bad motherfuckers in charge. Worse, whoever replaced him would gain the same kind of popularity boost as LBJ – and would almost certainly use it for evil (some crazy right-wing shit domestically, more slaughtering abroad) rather than for good.

In an ideal world, of course [*], Bush wouldn’t be assassinated. He’d be nailed to a cross next to Saddam, following their convictions for crimes against humanity. Each evil bastard could glare angrily at his arch-nemesis while both slowly expired. The whole feat could go on PPV television, while the sane world cheered and the lunatics who still support either man cried, ululated or both.

Oh, and a digression – I know you can get anything on eBay, but I’m sure this is illegal (ads on right hand side)…

And another one – this is funny, and has also met with pro-war left disapproval. Seriously, has Marcus genuinely never wanted to cut off a pompous idiot’s head, or crucify a vile bastard? What a sad, repressed person he must be…

Update: Eric the Unread is also a tedious humourless wanker.

[*] In an *ideal* world, he’d never have existed and nor would Saddam. I mean ‘in a world which is close to ideal as possible starting from where we are now’.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized by John B. Bookmark the permalink.

11 thoughts on “The abolition of satire

  1. Which reminds me – I’m seeing Billy Connolly live on Tuesday, and shall report back if he has anything further to say about hostage-taking in Iraq in the light of recent events.

  2. Eric the Unread is actually a good blog.

    You, on the other hand, are a more dubious commodity but your humour saves you.

  3. I’m pleased to be a dubious commodity. Does that mean that you can trade futures in me at dubious commodity exchanges? I hope so.

    And Will, are you really Benjie’s ghost? That explains a lot, in an entirely disturbing way.

  4. Damn, I can’t read that column anymore. Anyway, though I can’t comment on Booker’s article, this lack of humour stems from the fact that it’s seriously not funny to them – how can it be? It’s what they’ve based their entire notion of Good and Evil on. It’s like when you’re a kid and someone starts taking the piss out of Father Christmas and you get all red-faced and offended because you think Father Christmas is so cool and how can anyone not agree with you (except in that situation, you then grow up). In their minds it shouldn’t be funny to anyone at all. And so we have to suffer through all these shows of righteous indignation instead because "uh, it’s just a joke.." doesn’t seem to work anymore.

  5. Eh? explains what?

    Say it like this "Why can’t we all just get along" in a whiney little pathetic sort of way as if you’ve got a carrot stuck down your throat at the same time. When you’ve done that then ignore that I have commented with my real name and just pretend that the signed name ‘Benjie’s Ghost’ is who has really commented.

    There now, does that make a differenece? I can’t get the hang of this trolling business.

  6. Following up my earlier comment, I did indeed see Billy Connolly last night, and while he talked about the row over the Ken Bigley joke in some detail (and his pride at being voted "very bastardish" on a Richard & Judy phone-in), he otherwise didn’t mention Iraq or indeed the War On Terror (TM) at all.

    There were loads of tasteless comments about Robert Kilroy-Silk, though, which was more than enough compensation.

  7. It’s so annoying to see poor spelling on a blog’s front page, it makes me want to use WMD. John, it’s "nemesis," not "nemisis."

    And I see you have not linked to me yet, YOU BLOODY WANKER!

    So, what happened to the ferret? You never told me.

  8. Thank you, darling :-)

    But um… we changed our name to Discarded Lies, we’re not LGF Watch Watch anymore, we decided we have a life.

    Sorry, after you’ve gone into all that trouble already, hopefully this will be the last change. And I promise to be extra sweet to you for the next few weeks. Here, I’ll start right now: john b, you’re very cute.

Comments are closed.