People who should know better are kicking up a fuss about Charlie Brooker’s latest Guardian humour piece (update – link changed to a mirror site), in which he concludes that should George Bush be elected or re-selected this time round, a "John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr" might be the world’s best hope for salvation.
They’re being wankers, and deserve a kicking. Of course it’s acceptable to joke about murder and assassination… it’s known as ‘comedy’. Although increasing numbers of people on the UK blog scene are refusing to acknowledge the existence of comedy, humour, or satire – at least when it’s nasty.
This trend is especially common among unrepentant pro-war liberals, presumably since surgical sense-of-humour removal is the only way they can keep a straight face while they attempt to justify their support for the disaster in Iraq and the broader Operation Fear The Bogeyman, Yes There Really Are Crazed Darkies Under Your Bed, Let’s Bomb Everywhere And Arrest Everyone.
While I approve of Mr Brooker’s article, his thesis is wrong. As I’ve already discussed, Bush’s assassination would put some equally bad motherfuckers in charge. Worse, whoever replaced him would gain the same kind of popularity boost as LBJ – and would almost certainly use it for evil (some crazy right-wing shit domestically, more slaughtering abroad) rather than for good.
In an ideal world, of course [*], Bush wouldn’t be assassinated. He’d be nailed to a cross next to Saddam, following their convictions for crimes against humanity. Each evil bastard could glare angrily at his arch-nemesis while both slowly expired. The whole feat could go on PPV television, while the sane world cheered and the lunatics who still support either man cried, ululated or both.
Oh, and a digression – I know you can get anything on eBay, but I’m sure this is illegal (ads on right hand side)…
And another one – this is funny, and has also met with pro-war left disapproval. Seriously, has Marcus genuinely never wanted to cut off a pompous idiot’s head, or crucify a vile bastard? What a sad, repressed person he must be…
Update: Eric the Unread is also a tedious humourless wanker.
[*] In an *ideal* world, he’d never have existed and nor would Saddam. I mean ‘in a world which is close to ideal as possible starting from where we are now’.